One word, two readings. Alpha for a man is read as positive — dominant, assertive, a winner. Alpha for a woman? Rarely flattering. Same word; the room decides what it means.

I keep coming back to this asymmetry, because of how it lands on women. The hesitation at the edge of a decision that scares them. The doubt about whether they belong in the room they have worked so hard to enter. The waiting for someone with authority to nod first.

But the room is not where the decision sits. The decision sits with you. The question is not whether you are ready or whether others will accept you. It is whether you have given yourself permission to do what you want to do.

— Vani Kola

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